


Unfamiliar Territory

by skybound



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Fluff, Graduation, M/M, RNG 2013, Summer Vacation, Weddings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-10
Updated: 2015-07-10
Packaged: 2018-04-07 06:43:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,471
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4253322
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/skybound/pseuds/skybound
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>At the wedding venue, Joonmyun watches the chaos around him and remembers the start of it all: “Sometimes, one change is needed to initiate another change. That summer, the heat thawed our frozen relationship; we were afraid to move forward but if no one had moved at that time we would have both drowned.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	Unfamiliar Territory

**Author's Note:**

> originally written for the summer 2013 edition of runandgun. finally decided to cross-post something on my ao3, so have this fluffy suchen fic. 
> 
> enjoy~

**May 2021**

“I think I’m going to throw up,” Joonmyun whispers quietly as he accepts a glass of water from Lu Han. 

He glances down at the marble flooring, eyes wide with panic, “At least the venue doesn’t have carpet.”

Lu Han plops down onto the leather couch with a sigh. He pats Joonmyun comfortingly on the shoulder, shooting an amused glance at Baekhyun on Joonmyun’s left. Baekhyun, who previously was sorting through the alcoholic drinks on the glass coffee table, scrunches up his nose in distaste.

“You are not throwing up on that tuxedo. I did not custom-make that tuxedo just to have you ruin it because of your nervousness,” Baekhyun snaps. He sets down the bottle of chardonnay with a thunk.

Joonmyun looks up at Baekhyun, an apologetic smile wobbling on his lips, “Sorry, I just—I don’t know if I’m ready for this.”

“Nobody is ever ready for a wedding,” Lu Han reasons, his hands rubbing comfortingly up and down Joonmyun’s arms.

“Careful there, Lu Han, Jongdae might bite you for getting too touchy.” Baekhyun’s words are still sharp but his glare has softened, eyes taking in the pallor of Joonmyun’s face and the knuckled grip he has around his water glass. Baekhyun exhales sharply through his nose before turning to grab a paper bag at his feet. He flaps it in front of Joonmyun.

“Use this.”

Joonmyun’s eyebrows knit together, “What’s this for?”

“If you’re going to puke, at least do it in the bag. Or use it to hyperventilate, whichever comes first.”

Lu Han guffaws loudly, eyes bright with mirth and Joonmyun rears to the left, his right hand immediately coming up to cup his ear in pain. Joonmyun scowls at both men, “This is the least comforting pre-wedding talk I’ve ever had.”

“Technically, this is the only pre-wedding talk you’ve ever had,” Kyungsoo walks into the room, cello case gripped tightly in hand. He sets the case down against the couch before pushing in between Baekhyun and Joonmyun to sit. “How are you going to get through the rest of the wedding if you can’t calm yourself now?”

Joonmyun holds up the paper bag, “I won’t pass out, don’t worry.”

“You’re not the one I’m worried about,” Lu Han says with a cheeky grin.

“Oh?”

“Hey,” Baekhyun leans forward excitedly, “Doesn’t this remind you guys of that time in Japan—“

Joonmyun opens his eyes in alarm, “How about we not remember that time in Japan—“

“—when Joonmyun almost peed his pants going into the haunted house at the amusement park?”

Lu Han grins as the memory, “Didn’t Jongdae buy an inflatable hammer for you to carry in with you?”

“No!”

“If I remember correctly,” Kyungsoo starts, “Jongdae won it at the game stands. I think Joonmyun grabbed it from him when they went in.”

“Joonmyun, our shining leader, so brave!” Baekhyun coos. He pats Joonmyun’s cheeks, and Joonmyun’s face twists into an expression of despair. It’s the one that he’s had on in his face ever since Baekhyun was introduced as Jongdae’s college roommate eight years ago.

“He’s not Junmen for nothing, you know.”

The four men look up to see Jongdae sneaking into the room.

“You’re not supposed to be in here,” Kyungsoo frowns.

“Does it really matter?” Jongdae moves around the coffee table to squeeze into the space between it and the couch. He bangs his knees against Lu Han’s, both letting out hisses of pain, before plopping down onto Joonmyun’s lap. Jongdae leans back with a grin, “The wedding ceremony will start soon anyways.” Joonmyun brings a hand up to Jongdae’s hip to move him because Jongdae’s weight is entirely on his thighs, but Jongdae grabs his hand, holding it in place while wriggling his butt ever so slightly. Joonmyun stills at the brush of pressure against his crotch.

“So, what are we harassing Joonmyun for?”

"We're talking about how Joonmyun almost wimped out when we visited that Japanese haunted house back in the day."

Jongdae grins, "Oh yeah, that wasn't his most glorious moment..." Jongdae proceeds to describe all of the times Joonmyun shrieked on the walk through and Joonmyun puts his head in his hands with a self-pitying chuckle.

The group laughs at Joonmyun's expanse for a minute or so more before Lu Han brings up how Baekhyun almost cried when the snakes were brought out at the petting zoo. Baekhyun turns pink and bites back angrily, the two standing up to squabble. Joonmyun hides his smile behind his hand.

“Are you feeling better now?” The words are whispered into Joonmyun’s ear. Jongdae has his head turned to the side, lips brushing against the shell of Joonmyun’s ear, eyes bright as he watches Lu Han and Baekhyun argue. Joonmyun swivels his head to the right, eyes flicking upward. He realizes that his queasiness has subsided and he feels that familiar warmth, like the heat of a warm embrace, spread through him as his eyes traces over Jongdae’s side profile.

“Yeah…” Jongdae’s gaze moves downward at the soft reply, “I’m feeling better now…” There’s a small smile on Joonmyun’s face and Jongdae’s eyes soften.

“Good. Worrying is just going to give you more wrinkles.” Jongdae knocks his forehead softly against the side of Joonmyun’s head, and Joonmyun lets out a breathy laugh.

Lu Han looks over at the sound and rolls his eyes at the two of them, “Can you guys be any more gross?”

“Is that a challenge?”

“Ye—“Kyungsoo tiptoes up to clap a hand over Lu Han’s mouth, eyes wide as he shakes his head. It’s too late though, Jongdae’s smirk widens and he suddenly leans into Joonmyun, eyes on the other men in the room as he gives a small lick at the corner of Joonmyun’s mouth. Joonmyun gurgles, cheeks flaming, and pushes back against Jongdae’s shoulders. Lu Han cringes and Kyungsoo lets go, averting his eyes. Baekhyun groans.

“I’m not drunk enough for this.”

“Jongdae, this is not the time—get off!”

“You know what, I’m going to go check on Sehun,” Lu Han mutters.

“I’m coming with you!”

Joonmyun watches helplessly as Kyungsoo scrambles after Lu Han, the pair slipping quickly out the door. Baekhyun shoves his hand in Jongdae’s face, pushing back and the other man topples over easily, laughter ringing out loudly in the room. Joonmyun heaves a sigh of relief. A smile starts to curl on his lips because Baekhyun is now attacking Jongdae with a couch pillow, complaining about how single people don’t enjoy being subjected to PDA. It’s like watching Baekhyun kicking Jongdae’s ass out of bed eight years ago because the pair overslept and were going to be late for morning classes. Some things never change—

Jongdae looks up from where he’s wrestling Baekhyun on the ground and catches Joonmyun’s eye. He grins brightly, and Joonmyun’s breathe hitches.

—Except for the things that had.

_2013, that was when it all began. It was the year of the Snake; a year meant for progress, discipline, and boldness. It was a year to remember._

 

 

**June 2013**

Joonmyun adjusts the cords around his neck for the fifth time. Eight meters ahead of him, the dean is speaking at the podium; the audience of 4000 graduates is barely paying attention. 

"Does my hair look okay?" Joonmyun pulls off his black graduation cap to run a hand through his hair, eyes glancing at Kyungsoo anxiously. 

_Do Kyungsoo. A 91-liner that had skipped pre-school, Kyungsoo is second in our class. A talented musician and singer, he already has a job lined up as a cellist in a ritzy Hongdae club._

Kyungsoo, with his hands clasped in front of him as he waits for his turn on stage, peeks one eye open to rove lazily over Joonmyun's head. "You have a cow lick in the back."

Joonmyun exhales in frustration and licks his fingertips, reaching back to smooth his hair when the crowd explodes in applause. He whips around in time to see the dean bowing before Kyungsoo is jamming his cap back on his head and pushing him forward.

"Don't forget to breathe," Kyungsoo whispers.

"Please welcome your Class of 2013 valedictorian, Kim Joonmyun!"

Joonmyun walks slowly, counting his steps in his head as he approaches the podium. He feels his fingers quivering and he clutches at the hem of his gown sleeves with his fingertips, suddenly grateful for the gowns' too-long length.

His pre-typed speech is already on the stand and Joonmyun adjusts the microphone quickly before speaking, "Today, we are about to end our academic journey at K-Art..." Joonmyun stutters a few times over the course of his speech, and at one point he gets so fired up that he leans in too close to the microphone, causing audio feedback to ring gratingly through the stage speakers. The end of his speech, rounded out with a “Class of 2013, you are done!” is met with hollers of excitement. 

Kyungsoo rushes quickly towards the podium, noticing the students getting ready to leave, and starts to sing the graduation theme song. The crowd sings along; several students screech off-key for fun and cameras flash brightly in the back to cement the moment.

Kyungsoo slings an arm around Joonmyun when he finishes singing, his eyes crescenting happily. He pulls Joonmyun off stage towards a group of guys under the trees.

“Joonmyun! Who’s the man?!” A tall boy claps Joonmyun on the back hard, grin threatening to split his face in half, “That was a nice speech, hyung—couldn’t have said it any better myself.”

The boy is slapped on the back of his head by another equally tall guy, “Don’t run your mouth, Chanyeol, you haven’t even graduated yet.” Yifan says.

Chanyeol pouts, "I was just trying to be encouraging..."

"Yeah, Yifan, play nice." Baekhyun curls a hand around Chanyeol's bicep in mock comfort, an impish grin in place. The pair turns to give Yifan matching puppy eyes and the older man pinches his nose in exasperation.

_Park Chanyeol, Wu Yifan, Byun Baekhyun. The golden trio. Yifan had taken Chanyeol under his wing back when Chanyeol was just a freshman and Baekhyun had inevitably steamrolled his way into the friendship. The three are nearly inseparable, and Yifan visits the university often despite having graduated already._

"It really was a nice speech, Joonmyun. I'm glad our class had a decent speaker for valedictorian." Yixing claps a hand on Joonmyun's shoulder, a sincere smile on his face. His eyes, however, are twinkling and he laughs when Lu Han yells in indignation. At Lu Han's side, a shorter man locks his arms around Lu Han's torso to prevent him from attacking Yixing.

_Zhang Yixing, Lu Han, Kim Minseok. Yixing and Lu Han are two halves of a whole, brothers at heart and equally mischievous. Last year, Lu Han had been the valedictorian and unfortunately knocked over his water glass while attempting to shuffle his papers. The water got on the microphone and Lu Han ended up using a bull horn to finish the rest of his speech. Minseok, the oldest, also graduated in Lu Han's year and is currently loaning his couch for Lu Han to sleep on._

"Can we go celebrate now? I'm starving. None of the food here is free."

"You wouldn't be hungry if you'd eaten breakfast like I told you to. You don't have any weight to lose."

"It’s not like I didn't want to eat. Someone ate all of the cereal in our room!" A gangly boy with dyed pink hair glares at the slouching teen next to him. 

"Can you two not argue? Sehun-ah, I'll buy you lunch, okay?"

_Oh Sehun, Kim Jongin, Huang Zitao. The youngest of the group and the most vocal. Sehun and Jongin are old junior high friends who decided to room together for freshman year. If a day goes by without the pair having rooming problems, something is amiss. Zitao is the Chinese exchange student assigned to Jongin; unfortunately for Jongin, Sehun and Zitao get along a little too well._

"Why don't you just let him starve, "Jongin grumbles. "He said his legs are getting too big for his skinny jeans anyways."

Sehun and Zitao slap Jongin on both arms, Sehun's cry of "asshole" causing several parents to look in the group's direction. Yifan bows his head at the adults quickly before going over to knock the three boy's heads together.

"Graduation day is always fun," a boy wearing plastic round glasses walks up to Joonmyun with a bouquet of flowers in hand. "Here, take this. Mom told me to give it to you. The thing is bigger than your face; I wanted to just pick some of the carnations in the backyard but she said that giving you weeds would be bad luck."

Joonmyun takes the flowers with a dry grin. He plucks a sprig of baby's breathe off of the bouquet and inserts it behind the boy's ear. "Thank your mom for me then," Joonmyun says. "Have you seen my parents?"

"They're somewhere in the back, my parents stopped them to talk." Jongdae smooths the side of his parted hair with one hand, pulling out the baby's breathe to twirl between his teeth.

_And lastly, Kim Jongdae. My best friend and childhood playmate. We met when Jongdae's family moved to our neighborhood in Gangnam. Back then, he was the only kid not prissy enough to refuse a game of basketball. I'm not sure what my social life would have been like if I hadn't met Jongdae, but I'm sure it would have been lacking in sass._

"Did you forget your insoles today?" Jongdae bends down to peer at Joonmyun's black Oxfords, "You're a little shorter than usual."

"It's because you're wearing insoles."

"No, I'm not. I never wear insoles." Jongdae smirks and Joonmyun refrains from pointing out that he'd seen Jongdae pick up a set the last time the two had gone shopping for groceries together.

"Oh look at all of you, it’s so nice to see you all supporting Joonmyun's big day." Joonmyun's mother steps out of the crowd towards the group, a gentle smile on her face. She reaches over to give Jongdae a quick hug before walking to Joonmyun's side and looking proudly over everyone.

Jongin and Sehun who were still rough housing in the back immediately separate, bowing awkwardly towards Joonmyun's mother. The rest of the group does the same. Someone coughs.

"It was uh our pleasure to come see Joonmyun and Kyungsoo and Yixing graduate today. You must be very proud." Lu Han says. He's trying not to stumble over his Korean and Yixing snickers quietly at his side.

"Thank you, dear. Weren't you last year's valedictorian? I remember seeing you speak last time." Lu Han winces and nods. Joonmyun's mother takes the hint and changes topics, "We have reservations set up at a nearby barbeque house if you all want to join us. We can probably ask them to give us a couple more tables."

Everyone raises their hands in protest, claiming to still be full except for Sehun who mentions that he wouldn't mind.

Joonmyun's mother claps her hands together, "Great, I'll call the restaurant. Joonmyun, darling, can you lead everyone over? It's the usual place near the mall. The car isn't going to fit all of us."

When Joonmyun's mother is out of sight, Baekhyun jabs Sehun in the shoulder, "Why did you say yes, you idiot?! Don't you know how much this is going to cost the Kims?"

"But I was hungry," Sehun whines.

"It's fine, we don't really mind. I fed you all through half of the school year anyways," Joonmyun says as he ushers everyone towards the subway station. In the back, Baekhyun's face is pinched with annoyance.

"That's exactly why we don't want you to treat us today," Baekhyun mutters. Joonmyun is too far away to hear, but Jongdae is only half a meter away from Baekhyun. He slows down just enough for Baekhyun to catch up before speaking.

"It's just the way Joonmyun's family is. You get used to it. Just pretend to be full early on, it only works half of the time though." Jongdae pats his roommate on the shoulder once before jogging up to the front.

 

 

It's half-way through lunch when Joonmyun's parents bring up the trip.

"Joonmyun-ah," Joonmyun's father sets down the grill tongs and folds his hands together, "Your mother and I talked, and we've decided to give you a graduation gift."

Joonmyun looks up from his plate, a lettuce wrap half in his mouth, and hastily swallows his bite and wipes his lips. Right next to him, Jongdae perks up.

"I don't need a gift," Joonmyun says, "Besides wouldn't it be better for you to use the money on the company?" Joonmyun twists his hands in his lap. He knows his father's small banking company is going through hard times; too many people taking out loans and not being able to pay the bank back in the recessive years. Along with that and paying for both his and his older brother's degree, Joonmyun's family wasn't as well-off as they used to be.

Joonmyun's father frowns ever so slightly, eyes flicking to the rest of the boys seated around the table, and pauses for a moment on Jongdae's parents seated on the right. Joonmyun immediately straightens, a small polite smile lighting up his face.

"I mean, I would be most grateful for whatever you give me. You and mother work so hard," Joonmyun says. He reaches across the table to pour his father more tea, not looking up at the rest of the boys who are pretending to not listen to the conversation.

"Yes. Yes, we just want to reward you a bit for all of your effort, Joonmyun-ah." Joonmyun's mother interjects with a nervous laugh. She smiles at Jongdae's parents who smile and nod back in approval.

"We're giving you a week-long trip to Japan. The flight and hotel fees will be paid for in advance, and we'll transfer extra money onto your card to use on food and touring the country.” Joonmyun’s father goes back to grilling the meat. He pulls off some of the pork belly and holds it out to Yifan and Jongin who hold out their plates with nods of thanks.

Joonmyun’s eyes widen and he opens his mouth to protest. At his side, Jongdae digs his elbow into Joonmyun’s side while leaning over to grab the beef ribs, and Joonmyun closes his mouth into a pained smile.

“Of course all of you boys are welcome to tag along!” Joonmyun’s mother waves her hand over the table excitedly, “Kyungsoo, Yixing, we know you’ve both worked just as hard as Joonmyun to end this last year on a high note. And the rest of you boys surely need a break from all of the academic stress! If Minseok, Lu Han, and Yifan aren’t busy with work, they can come as well; we’ve planned everything out already.”

At this, everyone’s heads snap up from their plates. Excitement is written clearly on the majority of the boys’ faces, but there is unease as well. Yifan speaks up on the groups’ behalf, “We can’t possibly accept such a grand gift.”

“There’s no need for you to be polite. You’re all a bunch of good boys; I wouldn’t do this for just any group of kids!” Joonmyun’s father laugh, “You boys can surely spare seven days for a summer trip, right?”

Everyone nods and any room for argument is closed.

Joonmyun picks at his plate for the rest of lunch, chopsticks moving on autopilot. A trip to Japan is beyond anything he could have imagined, and he knows it’s no use thinking about the money spent on the trip. The real worry was how he was going to prevent the group of twelve from getting lost in the Japan’s busy cities.

A pile of meat is placed on Joonmyun’s plate and he turns his head to see Jongdae pulling his chopsticks back. “I don’t like this set of pork belly; a little too much fat, not enough meat,” Jongdae sniffs. Joonmyun quirks an eyebrow in amusement and bites into the meat with a grin.

Jongdae glances back at Joonmyun a couple of times before smiling and bumping shoulders with Joonmyun, “Don’t grin at me like that, I’m going to lose my appetite.”

The rest of lunch is a less eventful affair with Jongdae’s parents actually picking up the bill despite Joonmyun’s parent’s protests. Everyone parts ways at the restaurant entrance, and Joonmyun heads back home with his parents.

His boxes of packed dorm materials are still clustered near the door of his room and Joonmyun kicks one out of the way as he walks to his desk. He pulls his laptop forward, opens up a word document; planning this trip was the only thing he had to think about now.

 

 

Jongdae Skypes him three days later, “So, we’re leaving in five days? Your mom gave a call to my mother this morning.”

Joonmyun moves some papers around on his desk, glasses sliding down the bridge of his nose. A couple of library books on Japanese tourism nearly slide off his desk and Joonmyun fumbles after them.

“Hello? Hyung!”

“Yes, Jongdae, I’m here! It’s in five days. I don’t know if I’ll be able to prepare everything by then.” Joonmyun frowns down at the translated Korean text in a Japanese brochure. The words don’t make a lot of sense and Joonmyun squints at the Kanji to see if he can understand the information there.

“What are you talking about?” Jongdae has his feet resting on his desk on the Skype screen, penned music sheets in hand and the pen cap in his mouth. “All you need to do is pack a set of clothes. The flight details are all taken care of and our only job now is to have fun.”

Joonmyun sets down the brochure to stare at Jongdae in exasperation, “Do you seriously expect us to travel to Japan without any planning?”

Jongdae doesn’t look up, scribbling a few notes on his sheets, “Yes. What’s the point of trying to create the trip before it even happens?” Jongdae points his hand at the screen, “Oh right, but you can’t possibly do that because of your OCD.”

“Hey, I just want to be prepared, okay?” Joonmyun shoves the brochure at the screen and asks Jongdae if he can make out any of the words. Jongdae mistakes the word “river” for “bear” and Joonmyun pulls the brochure back with a sigh.

“If you’re really that stressed over this, I’ll come by the night before we leave and look over your plans with you.”

“Why can’t you do it earlier?”

Jongdae waves his music sheets in the air, “No time. I’m composing some songs and I need to get these done before we leave.”

“Can I see them?” Joonmyun asks curiously.

On screen, Jongdae pauses for a second. “Maybe some other time…” The reply is quiet and Joonmyun fights to keep the frown off of his face. For over a year now, Jongdae has refused to show him his song lyrics or score sheets. Joonmyun’s avoided starting a confrontation, but Jongdae’s refusal has been irking him for a while.

“I’m holding you to that promise.” Joonmyun says.

Jongdae rolls his eyes, “Yeah, sure. I have to go now, okay? Don’t blow a blood vessel while planning!” He ends the call before Joonmyun can get in a word, and Joonmyun closes his laptop screen with a shake of his head. He picks up his cell, clicks on the text group “everyone”, and sends out the flight date and details. T-minus five days.

 

 

Getting through the airport for boarding is a hassle that Joonmyun wishes he didn’t have to experience again. 

Jongin forgets to weigh his suitcase before arriving at the airport, and he is two kilograms over the weight limit. Minseok and Lu Han have to store Jongin’s extra clothes in their suitcases, each boy having an extra kilo to spare—Lu Han purses his lips when he’s handed Jongin’s Chelsea sweatshirt and ceremoniously shoves it into a side pocket.

They lose more time at the security checks when Yixing forgets about the pen in his pocket, the buzzing of the metal detectors thrum along with the anxiousness beneath Joonmyun’s skin. He looks down at his watch; the group has another thirty minutes before boarding. As long as Yixing’s security search doesn’t take too long, they should have enough time to find their gate without rushing.

Jongdae taps Joonmyun on the shoulder and points to the screen displaying arrivals and departures. Right next to the slot for Korean Air Flight 241, the word “early” is displayed under arrivals, the word switching out a second later to show that the plane was coming ten minutes early.

Finding the gate really isn’t a problem because everyone is fairly familiar with Incheon airport, but Joonmyun’s panic leaves him frazzled, causing him to nearly snap at Sehun when the boy points out the right direction for their gate. Jongdae pushes Joonmyun forward before the man can do any damage, and they arrive at the gate two minutes before boarding starts.

Joonmyun settles into his seat with a sigh; they were finally on vacation. He pulls out the bag of in-flight slippers from his seat pocket, tucking the plastic away to dispose of later, and grins as he kicks off his leather loafers. He’s wiggling his socked toes in delight when Baekhyun drops into the seat next to him.

“You look like you’re getting ready for retirement. Are those keroppi socks?”

Joonmyun clears his throat, quickly tucks his slippered feet under his seat, and flips open the magazine in his lap, “These? They’re Jongdae’s; I must have pulled them on without noticing.”

Baekhyun stares back nonplussed, “Your magazine is upside down.”

Joonmyun fights down a flush of embarrassment, and casually turns the magazine right-side up. He turns to give Baekhyun a soft smile, hoping to distract the other man, but Baekhyun’s tapping at his phone.

“Jongdae has bigger feet than you do; those socks look like a perfect fit to me.”

“Baekhyun...”

“Don’t worry; it can be our little secret!” Baekhyun thrusts the phone in Joonmyun’s face. On the top interface is an uploaded photo of Joonmyun’s socks waiting to be posted on Cyworld, the bottom screen is a new contact page for Taeyeon—Joonmyun’s older cousin—with an empty space for her phone number. Joonmyun considers letting Baekhyun post the entry, but remembers the week-long teasing that Yifan had gotten over his hidden stash of stuffed animals, and relents.

“You’re such a good hyung,” Baekhyun coos, ripping open his own bag of slippers with his teeth as he powers down his phone.

“I don’t think Taeyeon is into wicked dongsaengs.” Joonmyun quips, hands gripping his arm rests as the plane ascends into the clouds.

“Well, I’m wickedly charming when I want to be, so I don’t think that’ll be a problem.”

Joonmyun wrinkles his nose at Baekhyun’s cheese before reaching for his backpack under his seat. He pulls out his laptop, turning it on and searching for his daily trip itineraries. His brow furrows together as he clicks in and out of his document folders. He could have sworn he had everything saved in his trip folder but all that’s in there right now is the excel spreadsheets of trip finances. He clicks on his recycling bin just in case, but it’s empty.

Wait. No, he hadn’t emptied recycling bin in two weeks. There should be deleted copies of his graduation speech drafts in there but they’re all gone. Joonmyun’s eyes narrow before he slams his laptop shut. Joonmyun reaches into his backpack, rummaging through the files he has inside and finds all of his printed itineraries gone as well.

He turns to Baekhyun who has pulled an eye mask on. He lifts up a corner of the mask and Baekhyun pulls it off in annoyance, “What?”

“Why did you switch seats with Jongdae?”

Baekhyun blinks, “Jongdae said that sitting near the wing of the plane makes him nauseous, so we agreed to trade seats this morning.”

Joonmyun scowls and cranes his neck over the plane seats, spotting Jongdae’s head four rows ahead next to Kyungsoo’s. He drops down into his seat and fumes. Jongdae had no right getting rid of all of his plans.

When Kyungsoo takes a bathroom break an hour into the flight, Joonmyun pushes past Baekhyun to sidle into the vacant seat. Jongdae, who is watching a rerun of Running Man on the in-flight screen, tenses up. 

“Aren’t you excited, Jongdae?” Joonmyun leans across the seat divider, resting his chin on Jongdae’s shoulder to look at the screen. “I’m so excited, you know. I have so many things planned out for when we touch down in Japan. Only a small portion of my plans are for Tokyo; you remember right? The day tours in Okinawa, Nara, and Kyoto?” One of the comedians on screen makes a particular funny joke and Joonmyun laughs on cue. Jongdae’s eyes are glued to the screen and his lips are pursed; Joonmyun’s resting his hand on Jongdae’s thighs, the nails digging in painfully. Joonmyun leans even closer and whispers, “Jongdae-ah, I still have a video of you singing Barbie Girl ten years ago. It’d be a shame for that to end up in Baekhyun’s hands wouldn’t it?”

A throat clears above Joonmyun and he looks up to see Kyungsoo standing in front of his seat. He looks pointedly at how Joonmyun is practically spilling into Jongdae’s lap and Joonmyun tries to move back with an apologetic smile. However, Jongdae leans a head onto Joonmyun’s left arm and says, “Sorry, Kyungsoo, Joonmyun missed me a little too much. Could you wait for a bit back with Baekhyun?” Kyungsoo raises an eyebrow, suspicion clear on his face but walks down the aisle nonetheless. Joonmyun shakes his arm, a frown on his face, and Jongdae lifts his head reluctantly.

“Hyung, you need to relax. Like I said a few days ago, you can’t fully enjoy a trip if you’re just going to follow a schedule every day,” Jongdae sighs. “It’s no use trying to threaten me—I don’t have your paper copies and the electronic ones are permanently gone.”

“I put in so much time making those,” Joonmyun groans.

“Exactly! All of that time wasted. So just enjoy the free time we have in Japan, yeah?” Jongdae holds up fist and Joonmyun bumps it with his own weakly. “Good, you’re going to have the time of your life this summer. Nothing is boring when I’m around.”

_As I stalked back to my flight seat in annoyance, I had no clue as to how right Jongdae would be. Touching down in Japan, the two of us were about to open a door that was previously locked to us: love._

 

 

Tokyo is hot. The city is packed and the boys are standing outside of their hotel at ten in the morning as Joonmyun stares at the map in his hand. 

The drive to the hotel the previous night had been mainly silent, everyone too tired to even consider circling Tokyo to explore the night life. The two taxi vans had dropped them off in front of their hotel and Joonmyun had promptly collapsed on his bed after checking everyone in.

Today is the real start of their adventure in Japan, and Joonmyun has absolutely no idea where to go. He’s gnawing on his lip and constantly looking up from his map to glance at his waiting friends. Nobody is offering any input, not even Baekhyun who is drumming his fingers impatiently against his hip. It had been unanimously decided that since this was Joonmyun’s trip, Joonmyun got to call all of the shots.

“See, this is why I had itineraries,” Joonmyun hisses to Jongdae, burying his head back in his map in annoyance.

Jongdae sighs, “It’s not like you didn’t look things up beforehand. You can still go to the places you wanted to visit; we’re just not going to restrict ourselves to an hourly time limit at each location.”

Jongdae wrestles the map out of Joonmyun’s hands, “So pick a place you wanted to go to. You have ten seconds.”

“Jongdae—“

“Seven. Six. Five…”

“Shinjuku Gyoen National Garden!” Joonmyun throws his hands in the air.

“Alright, great, lets go!” Baekhyun pushes himself off of the wall he was leaning on and starts walking down the sidewalk, “We can just use the subways. It’ll be more convenient!”

When they arrive at the garden there’s a decent line at the Okido Gate. Zitao spots the cherry blossom trees peeking out from over the top of the old imperial walls and points them out with excitement. It’s far too late for any actual blossoms to still be blooming, but the trees themselves are aged with beauty.

The fee to get inside is about 200 yen per person, and the boys stop Joonmyun from paying, saying that even they could manage to pay that amount of money. The group splits upon passing the gates, half wanting to go view the cherry blossom trees, the other half wanting to see the chrysanthemums. 

Jongdae walks with Joonmyun and links their arms together. They walk by several ponds with water lilies blooming on top. Joonmyun stops to brush his fingers against one of the water lilies carefully. He’s not too sure how strict the Japanese Ministry is about the upkeep of the imperial garden, but he doesn’t want to get detained for accidentally picking off some of the flowers.

“I should have known you would choose a historical icon first,” Jongdae says, crouched next to Joonmyun. He glances at Joonmyun fondly before measuring a lily pad with the palm of his hand and comparing it against the size of Joonmyun’s face.

“It’s a beautiful garden,” Joonmyun replies.

“It is. Come on, lets look at the rest of the flowers.”

Jongdae stands up and he grips Joonmyun’s hand excitedly. There’s a grin on Jongdae’s face as he drags Joonmyun off to look at the chrysanthemums and Joonmyun feels himself relax. He’d let Jongdae lead for the day.

Lunch is spent at the teahouse in the middle of gardens, and they experiment with whisking green tea before falling onto their meals of miso soup and fish like starved animals. Joonmyun pulls out a digital camera from his bag and he and Jongdae squeeze together for a selca next to the tea sets on display.

At around three p.m., Joonmyun gets a call from Yifan. Several of them are heading out of the garden to check out the shops nearby, and Joonmyun starts to panic.

“No, wait for me, Jongdae and I can find the nearest gate and meet up with you guys.”

“Don’t worry about it, Joonmyun, just enjoy your time there. We don’t all have to go together. I’ll call you if something happens, I promise.”

Joonmyun looks over to Jongdae who is shaking his head, “Okay, then. Just be careful…”

“Got it.” The line clicks.

“Yifan is older than you, hyung. He can manage. Lets have a day just for us.” Jongdae throws his arm over Joonmyun’s shoulder and points out the Himalayan cedars towering overhead. The rest of the day is spent under the shades of the cedars, Joonmyun reciting the history of the gardens to Jongdae as the pair weave together little grass chains to hook onto each other’s ears.

The pair returns to the hotel at nine, having grabbed dinner at a passing ramen stand. Joonmyun flicks open his cell to find a single text from Yifan. It was from three hours ago and said that everyone was getting sushi at Fukuzushi and asked if Joonmyun was coming. He winces and texts back hurriedly explaining that he hadn’t seen the message.

His phone buzzes a second later, Yifan saying that it was okay and that Jongdae had given him the heads up.

Joonmyun sighs with relief. Even though the entire day had been spent with just Jongdae, Joonmyun finds that he doesn’t mind not having the others around. College had meant that Joonmyun couldn't spend as much time as he wanted with his best friend, the two of them separated into their own department. Maybe this trip was what he needed to have quality time with Jongdae again.

 

 

The following two days in Tokyo are just as fun. The boys take to exploring Shibuya, the shopping district is crowded and there are far too many shops with not enough time. Baekhyun and Zitao are in their element, eyes lighting up at each new store they pass. The prices are cringe-worthy but the boys refuse Joonmyun’s offer to pay, having brought along money with them to spend. 

They get to Shibuya Crossing and watch as people pour onto the streets when the lights turn red. Jongdae is roped into a dare to dance in the middle of the crossing and the man grins good-naturedly, standing in the middle of the crowd as the group creates a quick human barricade. They are most definitely blocking road traffic and people are giving them dirty looks but Jongdae only has twenty-five more seconds before the lights change, and he quickly starts attempting to pop to an imaginary beat.

People start slowing once they notice what Jongdae is doing, and some passing high school girls pull out their phones to record the impromptu performance. Chanyeol yells when there are only five seconds left on the crossing meter and the group races to the other side, feet hitting the pavement right when the lights change.

Joonmyun bursts out laughing as he takes in how sweaty Jongdae got from just a quick dance and he lifts up Jongdae’s shirt to wipe at the sweat on the boy’s face.

“Don’t laugh at me, I’d like to see you try.”

Joonmyun shakes his head once with a grin and pinches Jongdae’s cheek fondly.

 

 

The last day in Tokyo is spent at Yoyagi Park. There are a lot of performers sprinkled throughout the park, and the boys head from one act to another. At one point, Joonmyun and Jongdae find themselves separated from everyone else after lingering around the beatboxers for too long. They find a man strumming a guitar on a bench nearby, the notes linger wistfully in the air and Jongdae hums quietly along. 

The man locks eyes with Jongdae, fingers starting to strum the guitar strings at a stronger pace and Jongdae opens his mouth to sing.

Joonmyun had last heard Jongdae sing when he’d attended Jongdae’s acapellla group stage half a year ago. His favorite song had been Billie Jean, the strength of Jongdae’s voice filtering through nicely with the upbeat song. Joonmyun’s forgotten how striking Jongdae is though when he’s singing ballads.

Jongdae’s voice paints a picture of a nameless love, the man unable catch his love’s attention no matter how much he tries. The song is a plea for awareness, for a sign of hope, and the last note stretches out into the afternoon air waiting to be caught.

Jongdae is looking at Joonmyun and Joonmyun claps his hands quickly, a bright smile on his face. He can’t shake off how unsettled the song makes him, but it’s Jongdae’s singing and he’s always loved Jongdae’s voice.

“That was really great, Jongdae! What’s the song called? I haven’t heard it?”

“It’s actually one of my compositions; it was one of my inspirational submissions for music portfolio at the end of the year,” Jongdae says. He’s still staring at Joonmyun, almost expectantly. When Joonmyun reaches out to pull up Jongdae’s lips, the boy flinches slightly back. 

Instead of letting his hand hang in the air, Joonmyun swings his arm to the left at a juggler in the distance.

“You’ll have to let me listen to that portfolio later. You’ve gotten better since the December performances.”

“Sure, why not, I have everything on my laptop back in the hotel. You can listen tonight,” Jongdae’s voice is resigned and the rest of the day goes by with a feeling of awkwardness between the two.

Joonmyun tosses in his bed later that night. He turns on his side to look at Jongdae sleeping in the opposite bed and frowns, his heart heavy in his chest.

 

 

The group shuffles back to the airport the next morning for their flight to Okinawa. Joonmyun decided to forgo going to Nara or Kyoto, spending only a day in either location seeming like a pathetic attempt at appreciating what each city had to offer. Their final two days in Japan would be Okinawa cooling off at the beaches and winding down.

They arrive in Okinawa at noon and send all of their luggage ahead of them in an airport van to the beach resort. They find the nearest beach where they can snorkel and rent equipment from a local shop. The water is clear and warm and the sand is hot between their toes as they race towards the incoming tide.

Joonmyun pulls on his goggles and practices breathing through the snorkel before stepping into the water. He doesn’t see a lot of fish at first but as he paddles further out, the lone fish give way to schools of tuna and passing sea turtles. Joonmyun tries to get a little closer down and ends up sticking his snorkel beneath the water. He surfaces with a splutter, pulling off his snorkel to spit water out of his mouth. 

He looks around him to see how the others are doing, and sees Jongdae snorkeling with Baekhyun. The two have their heads stuck together as they look at the fish underwater and Joonmyun holds himself back when he realizes his initial impulse is to go join the two. He and Jongdae had been spending so much time together during the trip; the others hadn’t had any time to really hang out with either one of him, and for Joonmyun to go insert himself between Jongdae and Baekhyun right now would be entirely selfish. So instead, Joonmyun looks over to where Kyungsoo and Jongin are inspecting coral closer to the shore and swims over to join them.

The group snorkel for about two more hours before heading back to the beach. They find a good area to set up camp, with several logs to sit on and half of the group heads to the nearby outdoor showers while the other half returns the snorkeling equipment. Yifan and Minseok rent fishing rods and bait to use to catch dinner, and Sehun and Jongin immediately grab at the rods in excitement. Joonmyun doesn’t notice that Jongdae is missing until after dinner is caught and frowns when he can’t see him sitting with the others at the beach. He looks up to see Jongdae near the rocks and stares for a moment before running back towards the carts near the sidewalks.

_If one doesn’t try to breach the tension hanging between two people, it will eventually stretch so thin that it snaps into an irreparable relationship. This was my attempt at climbing the wall, the result of which was dependent upon Jongdae._

 

 

The sun is low on the horizon, coppery rays bleeding into the ocean. The glare reflecting off of the water’s surface hurts Jongdae’s eyes so he stares at the edge of the rocks, watching as the tide pulls in and out, marking the rising water line with his eyes. He can hear Chanyeol and Zitao setting up the fireworks back on the beach; Chanyeol is pointing out where to place the fireworks and Zitao lets out a shriek when he accidentally lights a roman candle, sprinkles of blue and green light trickling into the air.

“Isn’t this amazing?” Jongdae looks behind him to see Joonmyun climbing up the rocks. He’s clutching a grease-stained paper bag in one hand, the other steadying himself against the rock surface as he makes his way up.

“It’s calming that’s for sure.” Jongdae reaches a hand down when Joonmyun’s head peeks over the top of the rocks, and Joonmyun grasps it, right hand slippery with sweat. Jongdae pulls back with a grunt and Joonmyun goes sprawling onto the cliff. The paper bag slides a few centimeters away.

Jongdae immediately lets go once Joonmyun rights himself, scooting a bit further away towards the rock’s edge. Joonmyun dusts his hands together, eyes taking in the way Jongdae has curled in on himself, arms hugging his knees, chin resting on top. “I found a taiyaki stand down the street,” Joonmyun says lightly. He pulls a red bean cake out of the paper bag, and holds the pastry a few centimeters from Jongdae’s mouth. Jongdae eyes it for a second before leaning forward to nip at the pastry’s tail; he ends up biting air.

Joonmyun has a cheeky grin on his face when Jongdae looks up. Jongdae inches forward a little more and Joonmyun, once again, pulls the taiyaki a little bit back. “I am not going to fall forward on my face for you, Joonmyun,” Jongdae says flatly.

Joonmyun’s grin wavers slightly before strengthening, “I don’t expect you to; you have fast reflexes. Come on; does kitty Jongdae not want to play?” Joonmyun jabs the taiyaki back and forward like he would a fencing sword, waving the fish pastry side to side just to be obnoxious. Jongdae sighs, rolling his eyes—he could never refuse Joonmyun. 

Jongdae pushes forward right when Joonmyun thrusts the taiyaki again and the cake actually rams into Jongdae’s mouth. Some of the red bean paste ends up being squeezed out of the sides and Jongdae now has it smeared around his mouth.

“Oops?”

Jongdae gurgles at Joonmyun, eyes glaring daggers.

“I’m sorry. What was that?”

Jongdae pulls out the pastry, and swallows to speak, “Kitty Jongdae did not ask to die.”

Joonmyun laughs, reaching up a hand to swipe at the red bean paste at the corner of Jongdae’s lips. Joonmyun doesn’t notice the way Jongdae tenses up, his eyes unfocused as his fingers linger above Jongdae’s skin.

“Hyung.” 

Joonmyun shakes his head slightly, a smile automatically pulling on his lips, “Hmm?”

Jongdae flicks his eyes down towards Joonmyun’s outstretched hand, “Aren’t you going to pass the rest of the taiyaki?” 

“Oh?” Right, the taiyaki. It was going to get cold if the two men didn’t eat it soon. “Here, have another one. I bought four.” Joonmyun retracts his hand, picking out another cake and handing it over. Jongdae takes it and pats at the space next to him.

“Scoot closer, it’s chilly; you’ll catch a cold.”

It's quiet as the two men munch side by side, Joonmyun leaning back on one hand, Jongdae hunching forward on his knees. By now the sun is halfway below the horizon and the shadows are creeping into the summer sky. Down below, Yifan is ordering the others around to set up the fire pit.

Joonmyun watches Jongdae. For some reason his best friend was pulling away from him lately--there's a distance between their shoulders now as they walk, their steps mismatched where they used to fall in sync. Joonmyun isn't sure what went wrong. Maybe it started that day in the park or maybe the plane ride over to Okinawa but regardless the fault has to be his—Jongdae doesn't pull away when they others reach out towards him.

"You know you can tell me if I did something wrong, right?"

Jongdae lifts his head in surprise, as if he'd forgotten Joonmyun was there. The tension in his shoulders says otherwise.

"Hyung, what are you talking about?"

"I mean," Joonmyun picks at the crumbs on his cargo shorts, "I try to notice when any of you guys are upset, but you know me, I get a little caught up in things sometimes," Joonmyun smiles softly, "Remember, it took me a week to notice that you got contacts back in grade seven."

Joonmyun chances a glance at Jongdae. The other boy's eyes are alight with the setting sun: bright, fiery, and angry. Jongdae opens his mouth once, looks like he's going to shout before he groans, hanging his head and gripping his hair. "You didn't do anything. God, don't blame yourself. You always do that," Jongdae mumbles.

Joonmyun frowns, "But—"

"I'm just being dumb okay? It'll pass." Jongdae hesitates before reaching over to grip Joonmyun's hand, "I think...I just realized that you're really graduating, you know?"

If anything, Joonmyun's frown deepens. He wants to brush his hand through the hair at the nape of Jongdae's neck; to pull the boy close and hold him, but he's not sure if that's allowed anymore. Joonmyun rushes to speak, "No, Jongdae, I don't know. We've gone through this before, back in high school—"

"But back in high school, I knew where we would all be after graduation!" 

Joonmyun is stunned by the outburst and Jongdae cringes. He looks like he wants to take his words back but he steels his gaze. Jongdae turns Joonmyun's hand over and traces his life path with a finger. "Back in high school things were different. We...were different," Jongdae says.

"I'll always be here, Jongdae. I’m just going to get a job, it’s not like I won’t be around. I haven't changed."

"But I have." Jongdae lets go of Joonmyun's hand. He turns around; Joonmyun stares into Jongdae's eyes and sees nothing of the eight year old boy who had told him his fly was open the moment they met. The mischievousness is still there, Joonmyun knows, but all that is reflected back at him right now is a wall of solemn determination. The emotion seems to harden something within Jongdae, and Joonmyun realizes that somehow, Jongdae had grown up without Joonmyun's notice.

"Hyung—no, Joonmyun. Our friendship, it's standing in front of a forked road. You haven't noticed, but I have. And I'm making a decision for us if you don’t make one soon."

Joonmyun digs his fingernails into his knees, “What do you mean…Jongdae…Kim Jongdae! Aren’t we okay like this?” Fear wells up within Joonmyun, it presses against his rib cage and he feels like he can’t breathe. Jongdae wasn’t going to end their friendship, was he? They’ve gone through worse: Jongdae nearly losing his voice before his departmental exam, Joonmyun breaking down when his older brother ended up in a car accident. Their friendship—it meant more than this.

Jongdae stands up, brushing off the back of his shorts. He looks down at Joonmyun in the dimming day light and like always, he picks up all of Joonmyun’s fears. He holds out a hand, ready for Joonmyun to take, “Don’t worry, hyung. I’m not going to leave you. Just. Trust me.”

Joonmyun gnaws his lower lip before reaching up and taking Jongdae’s hand. A grin breaks across Jongdae’s face and in the background, another set of fireworks lights up the sky.

_We had grown up side by side. Boys slowly becoming men—enduring all of the tribulations associated with youth. We had both left boyhood long ago, that was reality, but when both of us are men and one of us is still treated by the other as a boy, an imbalance of feelings tips the scale._

Jongdae pulls Joonmyun down the clump of rocks, eyes now lit with excitement as he looks over to where Chanyeol is jumping up and down, waving glow-in-the dark sticks in one hand and skewers of grilled fish in the other. Joonmyun grips Jongdae’s hand tightly, not willing to let go. The summer night air is sticky against Joonmyun’s skin but he feels cooler than ever.

_Setting foot in Japan was like setting foot in a twilight zone: nothing was defined, anything was possible. Jongdae grew courage from this ambiguity because sometimes, one change is needed to initiate another change. That summer, the heat thawed our frozen relationship; we were afraid to move forward but if no one had moved at that time we would have both drowned in our own fears._

Joonmyun sits down on a washed up log next to the fire. Jongdae immediately makes a grab for the skewers of smoked fish. He ends up grabbing the same one as Sehun. The two boys lock eyes before shoving at each other.

“Maknae, you better let go. My fish. Mine.”

“Go catch your own fish then!” 

Minseok, who is tending to the fire and rotating the cooking fish, lets out a shout when Jongdae picks up a handful of sand, threatening to throw it at Sehun, “You’re going to get that in the food, Jongdae!” Minseok kicks at Sehun from his crouched position, too far away to get at Jongdae. Kyungsoo marches over and grabs the back of both boys’ collars and pulls them apart. Jongdae is deposited at Joonmyun’s feet and Sehun is dragged over to Lu Han where the elder pats his shoulder half-heartedly. 

Jongdae holds up two skewers of fish triumphantly, biting into one with relish, and placing the other in Joonmyun’s lap. Joonmyun waits for a second before holding out an expectant hand as Jongdae scowls at the mouthful of bones he had bit into. Joonmyun pulls out the bones in both of their fish, and watches the rest of the group set off the rest of the fireworks lining their side of the beach in a crude heart. The majority of them are display tubes, with a couple of fountain fireworks mixed in. The rest of the night is filled with laughter and hijinks, Lu Han pulling out the alcohol at ten p.m. and Sehun and Zitao providing plenty of entertainment with renditions of girl group dances. Joonmyun pushes back the incident with Jongdae to think about later; there were too many questions there, some of which he wasn’t sure he wanted to answer right now.

 

 

Zitao calls his hotel room at seven the next morning.

“Joonmyun-hyung! There’s a cycling tour going on today, can we go?” Zitao’s voice is far too chipper for this time of day and Joonmyun groans groggily into the phone. Joonmyun’s half sprawled out of the bed, sheets tangled around his feet and he scrunches his face in annoyance.

“Zitao, do you know what time it is?”

Zitao sounds slightly apologetic, a “You know I wake up early, hyung…” filtering through the phone line. Joonmyun sighs. Over on the other bed, Jongdae has pulled his second pillow over his ears, body borrowing further beneath his sheets.

“Okay. Okay, sign up for what you want. I’ll look it over when I actually wake up.” Joonmyun barely catches Zitao’s excited “Will do!” before placing the phone back in the receiver with a clack. He throws his covers back over his head and tries to fall back asleep but his mind is too awake and the sunlight filtering through the cracks in the blinds is shining on his bed. Joonmyun gets out of bed with a frustrated exhale, tongue licking at the sticky dryness at the roof of his mouth. At least he isn’t hung over.

He drinks a glass of water, brushes his teeth and showers. Still in only his towel, Joonmyun walks over to Jongdae’s bed, grabs a spare pillow from his own and whacks Jongdae awake. Jongdae kicks out at Joonmyun in retaliation and his left heel stabs into Joonmyun’s hip, a little too close to the crotch for comfort, and Joonmyun hisses, whacking Jongdae on the head again before dropping the pillow onto the bed.

“Get up! We’re going bike riding today!”

“Go jump off a cliff,” Jongdae grumbles. He squints, bleary-eyed before shuffling off to the bathroom.

Joonmyun orders room service, making sure to ask for extra coffee, before making wake up calls to the rest of the group’s rooms. He shoves the coffee at Jongdae when he gets out, and calls the front desk about the tour Zitao mentioned. The tour is self-led, guests able to rent bikes from the hotel and given maps of highlighted biking routes. The rental fee was low, they told him and Joonmyun paid for the twelve bike rentals that Zitao had placed for him earlier in the morning.

There are several routes along the water front and the boys zip along the sidewalk, wind blowing into their faces. Jongin starts up a game of tag, weaving around Lu Han to tap Chanyeol on the shoulder, and pedaling away as fast as he can. Joonmyun pushes forward, leaning into his bike to get away from Chanyeol but the younger man reaches over easily and touches Joonmyun’s back with a laugh.

Joonmyun looks in front of him for a target and spots Jongdae coasting some meters ahead. Jongdae’s hands are off of his handles and he’s pedaling slowly to keep the bike from toppling over. He doesn’t seem to realize the game that’s in play.

Joonmyun slowly starts to increase his speed until he’s right behind Jongdae. He leans over and taps Jongdae’s outstretched hands, and Jongdae immediately lowers them to clutch onto his handles in fear.

“Tag! You’re it, Jongdae!”

“What—“

Joonmyun pedals even faster, sea breeze stinging his eyes, to get away from Jongdae and Jongdae gives chase. There’s this feeling of absolute bliss that’s enveloping Joonmyun. He wants to blame it on the absolute freedom that biking near the ocean front gives him, but when he turns around to check on how close Jongdae is, he’s pretty sure that it’s just the joy of having Jongdae close, of having Jongdae in his sights.

Joonmyun’s mind flashes back to the previous night, remembers the fear that choked him at the thought of losing Jongdae’s friendship, and closes his eyes. He releases his hands from his handle bars as his bike to coasts forward, a yell escapes his lips and he opens his eyes with renewed strength. He isn’t as blind as Jongdae might believe him to be, and if last night’s hint was any indication, maybe it was time for Joonmyun to accept what was in his own heart; it was the last day of their vacation after all, tonight would be the flight back home.

Jongdae catches up to Joonmyun and skims his fingertips against Joonmyun’s torso. A delighted laugh bubbles from Jongdae’s lips and Joonmyun takes in Jongdae’s rosy wind-burned cheeks and tousled hair. He thinks back to the song Jongdae had sung at Yoyogi Park: about the love whose face is shadowed until the singer is willing to lift the veil, about how the veil can only be lifted with the confidence of the singer’s own feelings and Joonmyun understands.

“Jongdae!”

“What?!” Jongdae yells back, slowing down even though Joonmyun could easily tag him now.

Joonmyun considers beating around the bush but there’s no point, “Do you want to go on a date when we get back to Seoul?”

Jongdae whips around so fast that he ends up turning his handle bars by accident. Joonmyun’s eyes widen and he reaches over to steady the bike as it starts to teeter. Jongdae moves out of reach and the bike moves steadily once more.

“Are you…Are you serious?!”

“Yeah, why wouldn’t I be?” Joonmyun looks over with a quiet smile.

Jongdae laughs, stunned. Jongdae may know Joonmyun’s mind like the back of his hand but apparently he still had a long way to go to reading Joonmyun’s heart. He had been ready to be the leader this time; the one who would choose the road they’d walk together, but he guesses that Joonmyun had been standing in front of the forked road with him the whole time. Joonmyun, like him, just needed to know that he wasn’t standing there alone.

“I’m paying for dinner, just letting you know!” Jongdae shouts before turning around to go tag Sehun.

Sehun squawks upon seeing Jongdae biking towards him like a charging bull, and weaves off path towards the shops lining the beach.

Joonmyun groans before giving chase towards the two, the rest of the group following at a more sedate pace.

_Jongdae’s back was strong, lit by Okinawa’s morning sun. It was my turn to watch him instead of the other way around. Our love was as fresh as the incoming sea breeze and like a storm contained for far too long, it would grow in strength as we returned to Seoul in time for monsoon season. A love that started in the summer heat, it’s about to enter a new stage now, this time on the tail coats of Spring._

 

 

**May 2021**

Lu Han bursts through the door, tie loose, and hair ruffled.

Joonmyun looks up in alarm, takes one look at Lu Han and rises to his feet quickly. “What’s wrong? Didn’t you go see Sehun?”

Jongdae and Baekhyun push themselves off of the couch, Jongdae letting go of the pillow he had grabbed from Baekhyun. Baekhyun clucks his tongue, striding over to adjust Lu Han’s hair and tie with a frown. Lu Han slaps Baekhyun’s hands off, “No time for that! Sehun’s having a meltdown in the groom’s room!”

“What? Why?” Jongdae grabs his jacket from the nearby coat rack, holding the door open for Joonmyun as the three men file out of the room after Lu Han.

Lu Han runs his hand through his already disheveled hair and Baekhyun makes noise of distress. “Apparently, Soojung just texted saying that she’s pregnant.”

“Are you fucking kidding me?!” Joonmyun nearly rams into Baekhyun because the man has stopped in the middle of the hallway, and Joonmyun pushes Baekhyun into motion with little shoves of urgency.

“There were a lot of cuss words and angry Line emojis involved. I couldn’t actually understand all of it, but basically the consensus is that she’s going to rip off Sehun’s dick after the wedding is over.”

All four men wince and Lu Han opens the door to Sehun’s dressing room. Sehun is sitting down on a plush loveseat near the middle, his head in his hands. He looks up at the sound of the door and his face has fear written all over it. 

“Joonmyun, hyung, what do I do? We’re not even married yet and she’s threatening to castrate me!” Sehun whines loudly. Zitao is holding Sehun in a half-hug and he catches Sehun’s hand when it reaches up to grip his styled hair. In a corner of the room, Yifan has earphones plugged in and is trying his hardest to pretend the situation doesn’t exist. Jongin is leaning against the wall, shoulders shaking with mirth.

Joonmyun feels his earlier hysteria bubbling back in his stomach. He hadn’t been ready to see their maknae get married—the first to get married—and now Sehun’s going to be the first to start a family as well. Joonmyun has learned a lot of things since graduating college, but Baby 101 was not one of them.

“How did she even find out now? We’re at the wedding venue for God’s sake. Did she just decide to go to check in the bathroom before the ceremony for fun?”

“Ah no…” Sehun fidgets in his seat, eyes firmly on his hands in his lap, “We might have gotten a little too excited a month before the wedding date. I think she went to get tested at the hospital earlier in the week when her period didn’t come; she just got an email about the results, like, twenty minutes ago. To be fair, she was the one that started it!”

Jongin stares in amazement at Sehun, “You two are just made for each other aren’t you,” he whispers.

“Fuck you, Jongin!”

“No, thanks, apparently there’s too much of that going around.” 

Jongdae chokes on a laugh and Sehun reaches over to chuck the nearest water bottle at Jongin, eyes blazing with fury.

“Okay! You know what, you have ten minutes before the ceremony starts. There is a room full of guests in the ballroom, your family is here to see you get married, and you look like you’re walking to your death,” Joonmyun says, “Baekhyun’s going to fix your makeup and make sure you’re picture perfect, and we’re going to walk out of here proud. Today is your day, it’s your wedding, and a baby is happy thing. We’ll worry about Soojung later, okay?”

Joonmyun smiles pleasantly, and waves away any of Sehun’s protests, before walking out into the hallway with Jongdae in tow.

“I knew I had a bad feeling, Jongdae.” Joonmyun says with his head between his knees. 

Jongdae laughs, “At least we’ll never have that problem!”

“Oh my god.”

“Alright, alright, come on, it’s not like Sehun’s actually your son. You’re pushing the father act a little too far, leader-hyung.” Jongdae pulls Joonmyun back up and the two start walking towards the ballroom entrance, “Buck up, I’m sure we’ll get plenty of entertainment out of this wedding. It might just be as eventful as our own.”

Joonmyun blinks before glancing at Jongdae in surprise. The other man’s face is impassive, set in a default half-grin, and he looks over at Joonmyun with a serious gaze.

“I was thinking of having a music-themed wedding. The guests can only enter after performing five seconds of their worst karaoke singing, that way when I sing my composition after the vows, I’ll look even better.” 

Joonmyun snorts in disbelief but there is a grin stretching across his face. He tries to school his features into an affronted expression, but his mouth keeps twisting into a smile, “Do you expect me to accept this type of proposal. You’re not even kneeling.”

“No, I’m just making plans. You always say that preparation is key,” Jongdae pushes open the ballroom door, and the two men slip through. “I need to make sure you’ll actually accept before I make a fool of myself with a proposal. It’ll be the type of thing that will have you falling straight into my arms.”

Joonmyun shakes his head slightly as the pair fall into line with the rest of the groomsmen. Sehun is standing at the altar, hands clenched together, face blank. The wedding theme starts playing a few seconds later, and the ballroom doors open smoothly. Joonmyun watches the way Sehun’s face transforms as Soojung walks out in her wedding gown; his eyes brighten significantly and while he’s sure that the nervousness in Sehun’s face is partly due to his earlier fear, the majority of the nervousness comes off as wonder as to how Soojung was really going to be Sehun’s. It’s an expression that someone cannot summon out of thin air, and Joonmyun wistfully longs to experience that moment himself.

The vows are said without incident, the couple sliding the wedding rings onto each other’s ring fingers at the end before Soojung yanks Sehun forward for the kiss. Joonmyun can’t see Sehun’s face but he can see the way his shoulders tense, the way Soojung’s fingernails dig in painfully into Sehun’s neck, and he feels a slight amount of pity. The couple separate to give the customary bow towards the audience. When Sehun rises from his bow, his earlier bliss has disappeared from his face and touches his lips gingerly.

“She almost bit my lip off, that she-devil!” Sehun whispers to Jongin, his best man, on his right.

Jongdae turns to Joonmyun at the end of the ceremony, speaking playfully, with just a touch of nerves, “So what do you think, hyung? You just saw how this wedding went.”

Joonmyun tip-toes slightly to whisper into Jongdae’s ear, “I think,” he breathes, “That that proposal better come soon, Jongdae. Because I’m going to need plenty of time to plan later.”

Jongdae raises his hands in two thumbs-up, a wide smile on his face and starts shaking his ass to Troublemaker as the song starts playing through the loud speakers. Joonmyun looks around in embarrassment.

_Our love story was one of the first to start. It came on the wings of the summer heat in 2013, and has blazed a trail of memories all of the way up to 2021. The excitement of new love has touched each of our friends; Yifan and Yixing, Lu Han and Jongin, Zitao and Baekhyun, Chanyeol and Kyungsoo, Minseok and Luna, Sehun and Soojung._

Jongdae pulls Joonmyun closer to him and Joonmyun laughs before making a poor attempt at a body wave.

_A new set of doors have opened up now. Marriage. Life won’t get any easier for any us; married life will be full of even more bickering and drama, but our loves will continue to burn bright, a glowing ember that will never cool. 2021, it’s the start of a new beginning._

_What could possibly be in store?_

Joonmyun rests his head on Jongdae’s shoulder and smiles.

**Fin**

**Author's Note:**

> For clarification, the italicized narrations are from Joonmyun's perspective and were inspired by the voice-overs in Reply 1997. All locations and businesses mentioned in this fic are real.


End file.
